We all have a role model, someone we look up to and want to follow in their footsteps. For some people, it’s a professional athlete, a singer or actor. For others, it’s someone much closer to them: a parent, a relative or a close friend. In pretty much all cases, they are someone whom we feel has a positive influence on us.

To find my own role model, I don’t have to look very far. I mean that figuratively speaking, as we are some 4,400 kilometres away from each other, or about a 45 hours drive. But spiritually and in my heart, we are very, very close. I’m referring to my father. For some reason, I wanted to put down, black on white, what this man has meant to me in my life, in spite of the distance. So here it goes…

Words of wisdom

Amongst other things, my father taught me about:

🍺 Will power. I’m not ashamed to say, my father is a recovered alcoholic. One day, straight cold, he quit drinking and smoking on the same day. Having quit smoking myself, I know how, that alone, is difficult to do.

🌳 Resiliency. When I was going through some tough times, he told me the story of the tree.

⏱️ Patience. After his divorce with my mother, he went through a very difficult time, particularly with his relationship with my sister. He suffered through it and his patience paid off, as they have a great relationship now. I am applying the same with my own daughters after my own divorce.

💲 The value of money. To get my allowance, I had to do chores around the house. We had five acres and I had to mow the lawn, clean the in-ground swimming pool, shovel in winter, and things like that. At 14, I got my first job in a produce store where I was stacking empty boxes on Saturday mornings. I found out later that my dad was giving the money to the owner, to give to me.

❤ Love. Unconditional, selfless love. When I chose to move to British Columbia, some 4,500 kms away, he didn’t try to hold me back. Far from that, he supported me in spite of knowing that he wouldn’t see me or my family very often.

💰 Disposable income. He taught me that there are two ways to have more money in your pockets: increase your income or cut your expenses.

🕍 Religion. Men can only do so much. Even with DNA, they cannot recreate the complexity of a human. Science doesn’t understand everything there is to know about the human body, the world, our spirit. Something or someone created it all. When you can’t find the help that you need through people, go to the One who created it all and… pray.

A few philosophical stories

On a lighter note, my dad loved to use humour to teach his colourful lessons of life.

Having children

👨‍👧‍👧 If you’re going to have children, do it right and have boys, not girls. If you have a boy, you only have one penis to worry about. If you have a girl, you worry about all the neighbours! (I ended up having two beautiful daughters)

🍆 Sex education

As a teenager, we had the birds and the bees’ talk… sort of. He said: “You have ten fingers. If you lose one, you still have nine left. If you lose your penis, you don’t have another one. Be careful where you put it.”

💲 Wealth

Money doesn’t buy happiness but it’s more comfortable crying in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

🫶 Forgiveness

Forgive your ennemis but remember the bastards’ names. 

⛑️ Helping

Help someone in need and they will remember you the next time they’re in need again.

👮‍♂️ Law

Many people are alive because it’s illegal to pull the trigger.

🍷 Problem solving

Alcohol doesn’t solve problems but neither does milk. 

👑 Entitlement

Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple. 

Conclusion

Reading back, I realize that I simply cannot put into words what this man has meant (and still means) to me. I simply cannot express, as much as I would like to, how much of a (positive) influence he has had on my life. I’m a lucky man to have been in his life all of those years, and I feel like I have benefited greatly from his own experience and wisdom. In fact, I still do.

The day will come when we will be separated for good on this earth, even more than we are now. We will all get there one day. But in my heart, he will always be there… In the meantime, I enjoy every conversation, I cherish every memory and I embrase every life lesson that he has taught me. I have even passed many of them on to my kids whom, hopefully one day, will remember them and apply them in their own life.

I love you Dad.