Fun Fact: Oxymoron comes from the Greek word oksús (meaning “keen”) and mōros (meaning “stupid”). The word oxymoron is quite literally an oxymoron!
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
7. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?
10. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
12. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?
14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?
15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas – What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
29. Why do we qualify something as pretty ugly?
30. Is a crash landing successful or not?
31. Why is it so hard to remove a sticker from a brand new non-stick pan?
32. How can anyone provide an exact estimate?
33. If someone is “found missing”, are they still missing?
34. If you buy a “genuine imitation”, is it fake or real?
35. When you cut something into two equal pieces, why does one want the bigger half?
36. Why are we afraid of waking up the living dead?
37. If it’s your only choice, is it really a choice?
38. How many copies does it take to stop calling it an original copy?
39. Should we polish the plastic silverware?
40. Why do we say that a verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on?
41. Do you have to organize something that’s in random order?
42. If it’s the same difference, is it really different?
43. What kind of sheep is steel wool from?
44. If someone gives your their unbiased opinion, is it really unbiased?
45. How can someone go on a working vacation?
46. Is “friendly fire” done with a smile?
47. Why does someone have to “act naturally”?
48. How is a “definite maybe” better than a maybe?
49. If it’s a free trade, why do you have to give something in return?
50. How many people does it take to be alone together?
Bonus: Some of the above are seriously funny. Wait… are they serious or funny?
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