Categories: Life

Finding Inner Peace

How often do we hear people say: “Get a grip”, or “man up”? How many times do we look at someone’s reaction and think to ourselves that they need to “get over it”, or “handle the situation better”? It is often so hard for us to comprehend why someone is still grieving the loss of a loved one months, even years after their passing. Or to wrap our head around someone’s behaviour, doing things which don’t make sense… to us.

Life is stressful. For some, more than others. But each and every one of us lives through some different levels of stress one way or another. And not everyone is equipped the same way to deal with what life throws our way. Not everyone can handle similar situations the same way and mostly, not everyone is “wired” the same way.

Our past experiences, events that have marked us in the past, even brain injuries… all will contribute to making each person unique in their response to stressful situations. A long time police officer, or a war veteran, will have situations triggering reactions that they don’t necessarily control. Someone who was cheated on by a spouse can feel the effect through low self-esteem or other triggers. Kids who have been beaten and abused will have reactions to certain things that someone else won’t have. There are tons and tons of such examples. None are visible to the naked eye…

For those reasons, it is so important to avoid falling in the trap of judging others. Instead of telling someone to “man up”, or to “get a grip”, try showing some sympathy. If you can, even reach out with some empathy. We don’t always know the life journey of many of the people around us. We seldom know what’s affecting them at this very moment.

Inner peace

Fairly recently, a cousin of mine, whom I considered my brother, told me out of nowhere that I was a fake, that I had been on disability “because of heartburn”… In reality, for a few years, I was diagnosed with severe depression and high anxiety. I was a mess. To the point where I checked myself into hospital at one time… where they kept me for over a week to ensure I wouldn’t harm myself. But for that cousin, with whom I grew up with, who was my best friend… I was a fake. I was pretending. He went as far as telling me that he doesn’t want to surround himself with “fakes”, so we are no longer in touch.

I will admit, this coming from someone I truly trusted and loved, hurt more than I wanted to say. He was a brother to me. But I have since learned to set boundaries. The most difficult boundaries to set, admittedly, are with family. Why? Because you love them. You truly do. But you must resist crossing those boundaries and at some point, do what’s right for YOU. This, for someone who is not selfish by nature, is hard to understand, and even harder to do.

But when I have learned to live with boundaries, I have found true, genuine inner peace. Oh it doesn’t mean that you don’t get hurt! You do. Fairly regularly even, depending on events around you. What has changed from the past however, is your ability to cope, your understand of the reasons why you are doing what you are doing. You are learning your worth, and what you must do to finally… protect yourself. And with it, inner peace takes over. Most importantly, I’m here to tell you about it…

I strongly encourage you to watch this short video.