Categories: Humour

How To Cook A Turkey

I can’t figure out why but each and every year, I can’t seem to remember how to cook the turkey for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Getting wiser with my old age, I decided to write it down the last time. For some reasons, it seems like I found out why I can never remember… Here are my notes:

1. Go buy a turkey.

2. Take a drink of whiskey (scotch, Crown Royal or JD).

3. Put turkey in the oven.

4. Take another 2 drinks of whiskey.

5. Set the degree at 375° ovens.

6. Take 3 more whiskeys of drink.

7. Turn oven the on.

8. Take 4 whisks of drinky.

9. Turk the bastey.

10. Whiskey another bottle of get.

11. Stick a turkey in the thermometer.

12. Glass yourself a pour of whiskey.

13. Bake the whiskey for 4 hours.

14. Take the oven out of the turkey.

15. ake the oven out of the turkey.

16. Floor the turkey up off of the pick.

17. Turk the carvey.

18. Get yourself another scottle of botch.

19. Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey.

20. Bless the saying, pass and eat out.

Maybe next time I should set-up a video camera? Happy turkey cooking everyone!

JD Lagrange

Blog: Under Grumpa's Hat (Grumpa.ca) Life / Humour #PuraVida - Canadian 🇨🇦 in Costa Rica 🇨🇷 Other medias: https://linktr.ee/jocelyndarilagrange

Recent Posts

The Storm Keeper

For nearly thirty years, Elias Ward had been the keeper of Blackwater Lighthouse, a lonely…

4 hours ago

Speed Bumps: When the Road Fights Back

I was out for a walk around the neighbourhood the other day, and I noticed…

2 days ago

Words Worth Remembering

Wisdom is a funny thing. We spend the first half of our lives trying to…

4 days ago

The Garage Sale Lie

There is a particular kind of optimism that appears when someone decides it is time…

1 week ago

Welcome to the Pumpkin Spice Apocalypse

It starts innocently enough. The calendar says September or October, the mornings are a little…

1 week ago

Simple Things That Bring Happiness

There comes a point in life when you start realizing that the things you once…

2 weeks ago