Categories: Humour

How To Cook A Turkey

I can’t figure out why but each and every year, I can’t seem to remember how to cook the turkey for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Getting wiser with my old age, I decided to write it down the last time. For some reasons, it seems like I found out why I can never remember… Here are my notes:

1. Go buy a turkey.

2. Take a drink of whiskey (scotch, Crown Royal or JD).

3. Put turkey in the oven.

4. Take another 2 drinks of whiskey.

5. Set the degree at 375° ovens.

6. Take 3 more whiskeys of drink.

7. Turn oven the on.

8. Take 4 whisks of drinky.

9. Turk the bastey.

10. Whiskey another bottle of get.

11. Stick a turkey in the thermometer.

12. Glass yourself a pour of whiskey.

13. Bake the whiskey for 4 hours.

14. Take the oven out of the turkey.

15. ake the oven out of the turkey.

16. Floor the turkey up off of the pick.

17. Turk the carvey.

18. Get yourself another scottle of botch.

19. Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey.

20. Bless the saying, pass and eat out.

Maybe next time I should set-up a video camera? Happy turkey cooking everyone!

JD Lagrange

Blog: Under Grumpa's Hat (Grumpa.ca) Life / Humour #PuraVida - Canadian 🇨🇦 in Costa Rica 🇨🇷 Other medias: https://linktr.ee/jocelyndarilagrange

Recent Posts

The Last Walk

I remember walking with you that day,No grand occasion, nothing planned,Just another stroll along the…

1 day ago

A Man’s Naked Truth

Your naked body is not just skin to me. It is a story of trust,…

4 days ago

When Sports Sing Politics

I am a traditionalist. I like traditions that have earned their place rather than traditions…

6 days ago

The Great Costco Sample Shuffle

There are few places where a perfectly respectable adult can lose all sense of dignity…

1 week ago

Perfect Is Overrated

We live in a world obsessed with perfection. Perfect bodies, perfect homes, perfect careers, perfect…

2 weeks ago

A Poem About Quebec’s Maple Magic

Across Quebec, the maple trees stand tall,Their strong limbs reach to greet the sky,While summer…

2 weeks ago