Categories: Humour

The Chokehold Rescue

Two old cowboys mosey into the local diner, order up some lunch, and settle into some reminiscing—talkin’ about life, lost loves, and the price of hay.

A few stools down, a woman suddenly starts choking on her sandwich. Her face goes from red to blue faster than a jackrabbit in a prairie fire.

One of the cowboys glances over and drawls, “Ma’am… can ya swallow?
She shakes her head.
Can ya breathe?
Another panicked shake.

Without much fuss, he strolls over, leans her forward on the table, lifts up her dress, shifts her drawers aside, plants a quick smooch on her exposed backside, then delivers a solid slap! right on the rear, leaving a red hand print.

Like magic, the chunk of sandwich launches across the room, and she starts gulpin’ air like a fish tossed on a dock.

He calmly heads back to his seat, picks up his coffee. His buddy squints and asks, “Where in blazes did you learn that?

The old boy sips and shrugs. “Read about it on that internet contraption. Said it was called the Hind-lick maneuver.

Moral of the story:

When in doubt, do something. Even if it ain’t in the manual.

JD Lagrange

Blog: Under Grumpa's Hat (Grumpa.ca) Life / Humour #PuraVida - Canadian 🇨🇦 in Costa Rica 🇨🇷 Other medias: https://linktr.ee/jocelyndarilagrange

Recent Posts

NHL: When Playing Safe Pays Too Much

There is something quietly absurd about a sport as fast, physical, and unforgiving as hockey…

38 minutes ago

The Philosophy of Shared Showers

When the last kid moves out, a strange thing happens in a long marriage. The…

1 day ago

The Snooze Button Conspiracy

If there were a world championship for lying, alarm clocks would dominate the podium. Silver…

3 days ago

Left Versus Right: Two Sides, One Body

Which is better. The right or the left? It is a question that sounds simple,…

5 days ago

The Art of Not Feeding the Outrage

Negativity has become something of a national sport online. Actually, make that an international one.…

1 week ago

The Sound of Stillness

We drown the quiet in a flood of noiseConvince ourselves it's simply how we copeWe…

1 week ago