Under Grumpa's Hat

American radio and television writer Andy Rooney came up with his own theory of life, and it’s one that makes a lot of sense… the older you get. In his mind, life is all backwards. Here’s how he describes it.

You should die first, get it out of the way.

Then you live in an old age home.

You get kicked out because you’re too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work.

You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school.

You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities.

You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.

Now, wouldn’t that be something?