Categories: Humour

The Theory of Life

American radio and television writer Andy Rooney came up with his own theory of life, and it’s one that makes a lot of sense… the older you get. In his mind, life is all backwards. Here’s how he describes it.

You should die first, get it out of the way.

Then you live in an old age home.

You get kicked out because you’re too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work.

You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school.

You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities.

You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.

Now, wouldn’t that be something?

JD Lagrange

Blog: Under Grumpa's Hat (Grumpa.ca) Life / Humour #PuraVida - Canadian 🇨🇦 in Costa Rica 🇨🇷 Other medias: https://linktr.ee/jocelyndarilagrange

Recent Posts

The Naked Truth About Forty Years

There are certain things a husband should never surprise his wife with after forty years…

12 hours ago

The Storm Keeper

For nearly thirty years, Elias Ward had been the keeper of Blackwater Lighthouse, a lonely…

3 days ago

Speed Bumps: When the Road Fights Back

I was out for a walk around the neighbourhood the other day, and I noticed…

6 days ago

Words Worth Remembering

Wisdom is a funny thing. We spend the first half of our lives trying to…

1 week ago

The Garage Sale Lie

There is a particular kind of optimism that appears when someone decides it is time…

1 week ago

Welcome to the Pumpkin Spice Apocalypse

It starts innocently enough. The calendar says September or October, the mornings are a little…

2 weeks ago