Love Beyond Loss

Joe and Maria were married for 55 years. One morning, Maria was going downstairs to make Joe breakfast, she had a heart attack and fell. Joe picked her up as best he could and almost dragged her into the truck. At full speed, without respecting traffic lights, he drove her to the hospital.

When he arrived, unfortunately she was no longer with us.

During the funeral, Joe did not speak; his gaze was lost. He hardly cried.

That night, his children joined him. In an atmosphere of pain and nostalgia, they remembered beautiful anecdotes and he asked his son, a theologian, to tell him where Mom would be at that moment. The son began to talk about life after death and guesses as to how and where she would be.

The father listened carefully. Suddenly he asked his children to take him to the cemetery.

“Dad!” they replied, “it’s 11 at night, we can’t go to the cemetery right now!“

He raised his voice, and with a glazed look he said: “Don’t argue with me, please don’t argue with the man who just lost his wife of 55 years.“

There was a moment of respectful silence, they didn’t argue anymore. They went to the cemetery. With a flashlight they reached her grave.

Joe sat down, prayed, and told his children: “It was 55 years… you know? No one can really talk about true love if they haven’t done life with a person.“

He paused and wiped his face.

“She and I, we were together in the good and in the bad.” he continued. “When I changed jobs, we packed up when we sold the house and moved. We shared the joy of seeing our children become parents, together we mourned the departure of loved ones, we prayed together in the waiting room of some hospitals, we supported each other in pain, we hugged one another each day, and we forgave mistakes.“

And then he paused and added, “Children, that’s all gone and I’m happy tonight. Do you know why I’m happy? Because she left before me. She didn’t have to go through the agony and pain of burying me, of being left alone after my departure. I will be the one to go through that, and I thank God for that. I love her so much that I wouldn’t have liked her to suffer…“

When Joe finished speaking, his children had tears streaming down their faces. They hugged him and he comforted them, “It’s okay. We can go home. It’s been a good day.“

That night, the children understood what true love is. It is more than just romanticism and sex, it’s two people who stand beside one another, who are committed to one another … through all the good and bad that life throws at you.

Peace in your hearts.