From Sunset to Sunrise: One Stiff Vacation

Frank and Maggie had been together for over four decades. They still held hands while walking, still shared desserts at restaurants, and still laughed at the same reruns. But let’s be honest… after forty years, the fire between the sheets had simmered down to a flicker. There was still love, but passion had retired early.

So when they booked their long-awaited trip to Costa Rica, neither of them expected anything more than beaches, tropical birds, and strong coffee. Certainly not a second honeymoon.

But life’s funny that way.

It happened on the morning of day three. Frank was reaching down to put on his sandals when he felt a quick sting on the side of his foot. Not a big fuss, just a sharp nip, like stepping on a thorn. He gave it a grunt, rubbed it absentmindedly, and moved on with his day.

An hour later, sitting on the hotel balcony overlooking the palms, sipping his morning café negro, Frank shifted in his seat… Twice.

Maggie noticed. She tilted her head and gave him a look, half curious, half amused.

“Are you…?”

Frank cleared his throat. “Not sure. Something’s going on.”

She leaned forward, squinting slightly, and then raised an eyebrow. It was subtle, but unmistakable.

“Well, I’ll be…” she muttered.

There was a long pause. The kind where both people pretend not to be thinking what they’re thinking. Then, very slowly, Maggie set her coffee down.

“Maybe we should go back to the room.”

They hadn’t said those words in years.

It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t awkward. Well, actually, yes, it was a bit awkward. Limbs didn’t move like they used to, and Frank had to remove his socks mid-moment because they kept slipping on the tiles. But it was sweet. Honest. Like two people discovering a familiar dance with new timing.

Afterwards, they lay there quietly. Not saying much. Just… enjoying the closeness. Until Frank sat up.

“It’s still… going,” he said.

Maggie peeked. Blinked. “Still?”

Frank took a cold shower. It didn’t work. Another hour passed. They went from giggling about it, to wondering, to Googling.

By mid-afternoon, Frank was pacing. “It’s not funny anymore.”

“I mean, it sort of still is,” Maggie offered.

Frank glared. “I’m calling a doctor.”

He hobbled to the front desk like a man concealing contraband. A clinic was arranged. They took a cab to a nearby medical office, where Frank, beet-red and limping, checked in using broken Spanish and hand gestures that probably confused more than they clarified. They sat him in a room.

Moments later, a female doctor opened the door. Youngish. Calm. Competent. Professional. Which, of course, made it worse.

She asked what had happened. Frank stammered. Maggie tried to help, but every word just made it worse.

“He got bit,” she said.

“On the foot!” Frank blurted. “But it might have… affected something else.”

The doctor nodded slowly, like this wasn’t the first time she’d seen a Canadian man try to explain an erection in 30-degree heat.

She examined his foot, then glanced at the readout on a small monitor.

“Brazilian wandering spider, also commonly known as the banana spider,” she said with a slight accent. “They’re not aggressive, but the venom can cause increased blood flow. In men, sometimes… prolonged arousal.”

Frank stared at her. “You don’t say.”

“It should have gone away by now,” she continued. “We’ll give you a small injection to reverse the effects.”

Maggie leaned in. “Is it dangerous?”

“Only to his dignity,” the doctor replied with a kind smile.

Fifteen minutes later, Frank was feeling more himself. He thanked the doctor, avoided eye contact on the way out, and walked back to the waiting room with all the dignity a man in damp shorts and lingering shame could muster.

Maggie looked up from her phone. “All good?”

He nodded. “Nothing serious,” he muttered. “I could have turned into Spiderman with a different super-power!“

She smiled, knowingly. “Glad it didn’t go to waste. Would you care for a banana?“

He blushed. She winked. And together, they walked out into the Costa Rican sun, him a little humbler, her a little amused, and both with a story they’d probably never share back home… unless margaritas were involved.

Note to readers: If you’re wondering if this side effect is true… well, it is! And this spider can be found in Costa Rica.

Science: Spider venom could be a new Viagra